A lot of people ask me about encouraging their own children to dream. This is the beginning of a thread dedicated to that.
Creating MIcro-Environments
I heard about this great kid tonight. She is the daughter of one of my friends from residency, Jeff. When his daughter was 5 years old, they went hiking as a family and she saw a small pool above a waterfall where there were tiny little fish. She promptly told her father that she was going to catch one of those fish. He told her she was welcome to try, but truthfully I don’t think he thought it was that likely. You’ve seen those little fish move.
The rest of the family went a little further down stream and played for over an hour, before Jeff decided to get her – probably a little frustrated that she hadn’t caught up with the family yet. Next thing you know - she came running around the corner – Holding a Fish in her Hand!!
She had sat up there that whole time with her hands in the water – waiting patiently for one of the fish to swim on top of them - then Boom – she caught one.
Turns out Jeff ‘s childhood dream was to run a zoo. He has a hobby of creating these dynamic micro-environments for animals in which he is interested. This has led him to build terrariums for poison dart frogs, true chameleons – you name it. Before you think this is some amateur thing – he creates entire worlds – complete with micro orchids and miniature ferns – whatever it takes to make what he is growing comfortable and successful.
The funny thing is that I think the story about Jeff’s daughter and his interest in terrariums are related. One of the things I admire about Jeff is that he has managed to create a place where his daughter can succeed and in his own words - “stay out of her way”. Many parents are struggling to figure out what to do with their kid’s dreams and I think his technique has something to show us. Make the world an interesting place and then get out of their way - so they can do what they are determined to do.
To Jeff’s daughter – your dad is so proud of you and your brothers. I can’t wait to see what you decide to do next!
Let me know what has worked for you and what kind of parents and kids inspire you!
Post 10/17/09 by Dr. Doug Pernikoff
Teaching My Kids to Dream
In an earlier blog I shared my mother's dictum to me throughout
my young childhood. "Dream
fully, and work hard to make those dreams come true- and, they will!" This has been a guiding philosophy for
me and thankfully, I have been able to accomplish many of my dreams. In fact, even as an adult, I have
continued to practice that philosophy. My wife and I have been blessed with three amazing children. Perfect- they are not! Amazing in so many ways- they are! One of my personal dreams and goals was
to give my kids a foundation of support to be able to carry on the 'dream
philosophy'. So, when I sit back
and reflect on what worked for me, I realize that there is an entire lifetime
of actions that help to accomplish this for my beloved Bobbi, Tommy and Ricky. The first point is to share and
demonstrate affection openly and don't be afraid to hug, kiss, or cry with your
children. Tell them how special
they are, and encourage them from little on to understand their value, not only
to us as parents, family and friends, but to let them know they are part of a
larger human community. Encourage
them to open their eyes and 'see the forest for the trees'.
Look at their lives as a journey, ever learning, ever
sharing and ever giving. Expose
them to the beauty, the diversity in our world; and when of age, the less than
good things they will see in their lives. Make them aware from early on, that although life can be an
amazing set of challenges and experiences, both comfortable and not so
comfortable, it is up to them to 'dream big', and help teach them how to plan,
create attainable goals and always move forward and onward. Kids need to understand boundaries, but
they also need to realize that they are so, so very capable of taking on
responsibilities. And, with each
success, they grow stronger, more independent in thought and in action. Dreaming and accomplishing your dreams
is about being bold enough to step out the box, when necessary, and of course,
with proper planning.
Confidence, loyalty, a sense of family, a sense of
community, and grasping the excitement of living a full life, with passion,
devotion and commitment. Not only
will you see your children develop the ability to create and successfully
pursue their dreams, you will create emotionally healthy young adults who will
understand, appreciate and most importantly, enjoy creating for themselves and
for our world community. Give it a
try- I know it works, as it is working for me and my own.
Fondly,
Dr. Doug Pernikoff
